The title of Bear Season 3, Episode 5 is titled “The Kids,” and it brings together all the kid-related subplots: Sugar’s impending motherhood; Marcus’s mother’s death; Sydney’s growing independence; Carmy’s petulance; Richie’s guilt over being a bad father. And, oh, right, the most insufferable kids of all: the Faks.
But we will talk about them later.
The first notable scene of the episode occurs when Syd comes to help Marcus clean his mother’s house as a friend and in her capacity as an ambassador for the Dead Mothers Club. Marcus is dealing with the loss of his mother, but sadness is starting to take over. “I wish I could taste food,” Marcus says.
She also apologizes for “making things weird” with Sydney when he awkwardly asked her out. Syd has forgotten about it because the kind of weirdness Marcus is guilty of is pretty mild compared to all the other raging jerks she works with. Being a generous friend to Marcus in his time of need is the service she can quickly and gladly render him now.
Back at the restaurant, Richie rushes to get it ready for his Chicago Tribune Photo shoot. The Faks, for some strange reason, are left in charge of polishing the floors. Neil Fak and Teddy Fak are wasting a lot of airtime stumbling around, clowning around, and not adding much value to The Bear (the restaurant and the show), but they’ve been given more work simply because everyone else isn’t doing it. And then we’re also introduced to another Fak, Sammy. Sammy is played by John Cena, an actor and former WWE Champion. Phew.
Let’s pause. Last season’s cameos were exciting, and despite their high voltage and recognizable faces, they blended in with the cast. All the actors seemed committed to playing their roles to build the origin story of the Berzattos’ cursed family dynamic. That episode will probably sweep the Emmys, even if you think it filled the ballot box with all that star power.
BUT: This season’s desperate attempts to remain a “comedy” (for consideration) are forced and stupid. I hate the Faks. And adding John Cena to smoke cigarettes and make small talk with these guys has become exhausting.
First, there was the disturbing joke.
It is stupefying in its utter idiocy.
Come on, John Cena’s agent should be thrown in a pit.
Also of note in this episode is that “The Computer” came at Cicero’s request to assess the Bear’s disastrous financial situation. He is another character we accept as Someone everyone has met For decades, because it seems this season’s writers had no time for expository details. So, The Computer: He may be a criminal, but he’s also responsible enough to fix big problems. The current problem: Carmy’s reckless spending on useless high-end equipment and extravagant ingredients like Transylvanian five-tit goat butter.
Elsewhere in the plot, Ebra needs help running The Beef’s drive-thru window. We find out that The Beef is making some money. But Ebra needs help; he keeps stumbling around, dripping meat slime all over the floor, tripping over bread bins, officially losing all the dignity he was rewarded with last season.
The Computer shows up at Sugar’s office to offer The Bear another suggestion on how he can save money: fire Marcus. “Do you really need a pie maker?” Sugar then says that she will murder The Computer if he asks her again. Just before he showed up, Sugar ignored a phone call from her mother. This is what kids do.
More kid stuff: Cicero visits Sydney while she’s cooking and asks if Carmy’s been acting like more of a jerk than usual. She doesn’t know. He then asks if he made things worse for these kids by buying them a restaurant. Syd doesn’t know, but assures Cicero that he’s done his best to be present in their lives.
BEAR SEASON 3 EPISODE 5: LEFTOVERS
QUESTIONS I STILL HAVE:EVERYTHING? This season is in crisis.
This show is fully capable and at times excellent at showing the dark tunnels that grief can create. And it’s not just grief for the dead, it’s grief for the living that can feel the most impossible, the most volatile. There is beauty in grief! Again, this is best exemplified by last season’s “Forks” and “Honeydew,” the high points of the series. But so far in Season 3, everything we’ve seen is rushed and irrelevant and in need of a character to help save it.
Yes, he doesn’t.
OCTOGENARIAN NEEDLE DROP: “Mixed Emotions” by The Rolling Stones. This was a fun, upbeat single released in 1989 during the “Steel Wheels” era of the Stones, who, if I recall correctly, were endlessly mocked for still trying to tour and play rock and roll despite being (gasp!) in their mid-40s at the time.
CARMY’S ARM PORNOGRAPHY: The perfect use of his incredible arm strength is to break through cardboard boxes.
BEAR – SEASON 3: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
I can’t get enough ofBearSeason 3? For more scoop, analysis, GIFs, and close-ups of Carmy’s arms, check out some highlights from Jugo Mobile’s coverage:
- Bear Full Season 3 Review: Carmy Secures Her Position as President of the Tortured Chef Department
- Bear Season 3 Episode 1 Recap: “Tomorrow”
- Bear Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: “Next”
- Bear Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: “Doors”
- Bear Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: “Violet”
- Bear Season 3 Ending Explained: Does Carmy and Sydney’s Restaurant Survive?
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AJ Daulerio is a writer and editor living in Los Angeles. He is also the founder of The small bow, a recovery bulletin.
